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    October 18

    大风

              从上次小象袜子被扔掉就一直感觉不好,那个袜子是我和蛋蛋的媒人,到现在我还记得他当时用手捧着我的脚假装看小象的表情,后来他承认只是想抓住我的手,摸我的脚。

          可是我和蛋蛋永远地分开了,就像那句话说的,心里有座坟,葬着未亡人。今天去学校上课的路上又路过蛋蛋家了,每次看到那座粉色的楼就想起曾经2年幸福的时光,那条路,我曾经无数次的走过,也是在那条路上,我感到生命的绝望。蛋蛋是懂我的人,他知道我的悲伤,可是却没有办法挽回我。

          也许我是在后悔当时没有坚持抵住压力和他在一起,我还记得他那伤心和恳求的眼神,蛋蛋说过,要小心我们的爱,不要让我们的爱影响到我今后的生活。他即使离开都为我想的那么远。

          可是我不能告诉蛋蛋这些,不能告诉他我想他了,不能打扰蛋蛋现在的生活,我希望他也小心我们的爱,不被过去影响现在的生活。

          我更不能告诉小火鸡这些,告诉他我心里还埋葬着别人,告诉他不知道是不是真爱只能有一次,告诉他不知道为什么我怎么也找不回过去的激情了。

          晚秋的季节,大风吹起飘散的落叶,一片一片,是发黄的,缓慢地又落在车窗上,然后滑落到地上,好像天女散花,又好像挥洒骨灰,那是他们在演艺生命最后的一出戏。

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